It's just so hard to say!
I've labored over what this post would say, what would I write, how could I explain, and in the end how embarrasing this whole thing is. So, here goes.
The long and short is that my AT journey has ended. Yes, just 32 miles and 4 days from Springer Mountain it is done. I would like to blame it on my hip or other things out of my control but in the end know that it is my will, or lack thereof that has brought me to such an abrupt end. Yes my hip still hurts and I will probably see a doc to see if there is anything really wrong but in the end that wasn't the reason I decided to stop.
There were several things I believed about myself prior to heading out on this little adventure. 1. I was tougher than nails, that I could do almost anything and that I was in really good shape.
2. I liked back country long distance hiking.
3. I was strong enough to endure the elements/weather/mother nature.
4. That I was mentally prepared.
5. That I wasn't afraid.
What I now know/believe:
1. This is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to accomplish in my life. Portia, I don't see how in the world you carried your pack for the journey you had on the trail. I am forever in awe of you! In general women seem to handle the pain of the trail much better than men. I was amazed at the number of single women, by themselves out on top of those moutains! Truly amazing!
2. I think I like the hiker costume better than the act of backcountry hiking! The nice little rain jacket I bought looked so cute running around Boston but the damn thing was awful when it was soaked through on the trail! uggh! I'm sorta kidding about this one, or at least trying to find the leavity in the situation of giving up. I really thought I would enjoy this much more than I did. I know, i know I only did it for 4 days but you simply can't imagine looking out into the horizon and seeing nothing but mountain tops and knowing that you are going to be in pain for not one but every single one of them as they come.
3. I guess I really am more a creature of comfort than I thought. Again, I thought I was the big ole strappin southern boy who could chew on sticks for 5 months and be as happy as a "pig in shit" doing it. 3 days ago I woke up in a cold fog on top of a mountain. I couldn't see anything and it started to rain. I made a breakfast of hot cocoa and a breakfast bar and sat in the rain eating it. I then packed my life up in my backpack and sat down again. I simply couldn't remember why I had decided to do this trip. It all seemed so insane to me!
I have such mixed feelings about this coming to an end so quickly. I had little sleep last night as I tried to make the final deicion. In the end, I know this is the right thing.
I'm going to check out for a couple of days and do a little soul searching. I've had my life planned for the next 5 months and now all of the sudden I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'll start reaching out to folks early next week but if you don't mind give me a couple of days to sort things out in my head!
Thanks so much for all your support!
love you guys!
Eric
The long and short is that my AT journey has ended. Yes, just 32 miles and 4 days from Springer Mountain it is done. I would like to blame it on my hip or other things out of my control but in the end know that it is my will, or lack thereof that has brought me to such an abrupt end. Yes my hip still hurts and I will probably see a doc to see if there is anything really wrong but in the end that wasn't the reason I decided to stop.
There were several things I believed about myself prior to heading out on this little adventure. 1. I was tougher than nails, that I could do almost anything and that I was in really good shape.
2. I liked back country long distance hiking.
3. I was strong enough to endure the elements/weather/mother nature.
4. That I was mentally prepared.
5. That I wasn't afraid.
What I now know/believe:
1. This is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to accomplish in my life. Portia, I don't see how in the world you carried your pack for the journey you had on the trail. I am forever in awe of you! In general women seem to handle the pain of the trail much better than men. I was amazed at the number of single women, by themselves out on top of those moutains! Truly amazing!
2. I think I like the hiker costume better than the act of backcountry hiking! The nice little rain jacket I bought looked so cute running around Boston but the damn thing was awful when it was soaked through on the trail! uggh! I'm sorta kidding about this one, or at least trying to find the leavity in the situation of giving up. I really thought I would enjoy this much more than I did. I know, i know I only did it for 4 days but you simply can't imagine looking out into the horizon and seeing nothing but mountain tops and knowing that you are going to be in pain for not one but every single one of them as they come.
3. I guess I really am more a creature of comfort than I thought. Again, I thought I was the big ole strappin southern boy who could chew on sticks for 5 months and be as happy as a "pig in shit" doing it. 3 days ago I woke up in a cold fog on top of a mountain. I couldn't see anything and it started to rain. I made a breakfast of hot cocoa and a breakfast bar and sat in the rain eating it. I then packed my life up in my backpack and sat down again. I simply couldn't remember why I had decided to do this trip. It all seemed so insane to me!
I have such mixed feelings about this coming to an end so quickly. I had little sleep last night as I tried to make the final deicion. In the end, I know this is the right thing.
I'm going to check out for a couple of days and do a little soul searching. I've had my life planned for the next 5 months and now all of the sudden I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'll start reaching out to folks early next week but if you don't mind give me a couple of days to sort things out in my head!
Thanks so much for all your support!
love you guys!
Eric
Comments
-Alicia
-Patrick
:) Heather
Maybe this was just a dress rehearsal for the big show. No matter what the show is, you know they say a bad rehearsal means a great show! Chin up! You my friend took on the AT...how many people do you know that would even consider an attempt.
Love ya,
Jeff