Journey...

i thought I was the open minded one.  i thought i was the one who was accepting.  i thought i was the one who celebrated differences.  i thought it wouldn't be a big deal that we were/are so different.  i thought that living closer would be easier.  i hadn't counted on the guilt i feel for not driving the 2.5 hours to see you.  i thought that it wouldn't bother me.   the reality is that...  i don't want to see you.   i don't want to spend time with you.   i don't enjoy your company.   i don't celebrate those things you celebrate.  i don't support your political decisions.   i don't understand your political decisions.   i don't understand why the differences in sex are defined in your world.   i don't understand why you are so afraid.   i don't understand how you've lost your interest in life.   i don't understand why you hide behind your church and pastor.   i don't understand why you don't have ...

YMCA downtown: They really love the Word at Ethos.  They are good people, love the lord and love others. Tin Cup Coffee: What it is about is redemption.... what the Lord is about is love and redemption. Tin Cup Coffee: How can we use social media to spread the Word? If we just get consumed by political talk we lose.  On the personal side you need to be ingesting more spiritual based reading... what comes out of your mouth is what's in your heart. So, it would help you to be less sharp tongued to your opponent.

We hiked in silence. We drove to the hike in silence. There was a moment when I thought reaching out to you would bring us closer together.  And then there was her. There was the her from the iPhone that got in the way.  The her that made me think, what the fuck are you even about.  You actually follow Kylie Jenner on Twitter... holy shit where did you come from?   That repelled me... the final thing that made me judge that pushed me away from you.  The thing that tossed me into another place and made the silence begin. I simply couldn't figure out how to get out of the silence.  I couldn't figure out how to crawl out of the hole.  I would make a comment.  You would make a comment.  But nothing.  It's as if the final strand was broken.  It was as if the final tenuous delicate little tie that held us together broke.  We shouldn't have gone hiking. I know you hated it.  You wanted me to believe that you liked the outdo...

since you're gone... i am worth knowing. i saw me in you, two arachnids, the same. i saw the needing me, i saw the connecting me, i saw your "resonate with others" in an attempt to be known, you even said to me, that first night, " i connect with lots of guys this way" RED FLAG. i've learned that i was not so special, that i was just another, maybe another to you but ANOTHER to me. i learned... from you. THANKS! i saw you "act out" to be known. i saw you fill your life with all those things and people that you think will know you but that in the end leave you wanting. those young things, those rich things those meaningless things. i learned that i am capable of knowing i learned that I am capable of seeing behind the facade i learned that i am strong enough to choose what i wanted i saw me from 6 years ago in you. i saw the me, the less evolved me, the pain, the hurt, the lone line. i saw you, reaching out from behind your eyes in...

people will demonstrate their character... who they are... everyday... in different ways... it's up to you to decide whether you'll see that and believe it... or whether you'll choose to live in a fog.

you came in and you ran out and i wanted to say hello and you were gone and then you were back and you were smiling and we were talking (breath) and we were talking about important things and we were talking about things that made me cry (breath) and we were looking for colin and we were walking around the room and we were talking about life and you were speaking to a part of me that hadn't been spoken to in years (breath) and we were talking and finally in the thump, thump, thump of the room you asked if i wanted to get out of there and we were leaving and we were walking out the door together and we were standing in the parking lot and we were talking and you put your head on my shoulder and i grasped the back of your neck and my heart melted and my knees got weak (breath) and we were talking and we were talking about important things and we decided to go back to my place and we talked and laughed and talked and laughed and looked into each others eyes and were respectful of the ...